Wednesday | May 5, 2021

Teacher Insider

All teachers claim to be human, to be a human one must subject to human feelings such as the dishonesty and temptation people face every day. Teachers always act as if they’re up on their high horse through making us, the students, believe that they are these purified and perfect beings. This is a lie! Our team at the BCC Loop has delved into the flaws of our ‘beloved’ teachers to expose how mortal teachers can really be!

Shocking investigations into Mr. Lumley’s teaching methods have revealed bribery and biased mindsets corrupting the classroom. One student, who would rather not be named, talks to us about this bribery, “Mr. Lumley said I had homework due next lesson, but he said that if I give him a caramel slice I didn’t have to do it. I was thrilled!” There have also been unconfirmed links from the NRL team, The Roosters, to Mr. Lumley. Many allegations have been uncovered claiming that a multimillion dollar deal has been put in place by The Rooster’s marketing management in order to promote the team through Mr. Lumley’s connection to the humble classroom.

Have you ever felt that there was something weird about that overly caring barista? Something that just didn’t make sense? The cheery ones are always the sketchy ones. Anything could be hidden behind a smokescreen of a ‘nice’ demeanor. Our very own senior English and Drama teacher, Mr. Kable, would be a perfect example of this unusual kindness. Beneath his good clothes and cool looking glasses could lurk a sea of uncertainty. The BCC Loop team has done some research and has come up with some staggering pieces of evidence to prove that there is something fishy about Mr. Kable. For starters his Instagram is set to ‘private’! How could you get more mysterious? There has also been reports that the ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ Mr Kable has been teaching his students how to effectively brain wash fellow students into doing something. One student says “Sure. He has been teaching us how to create a subconscious idea in someones head and as we know from the movie Inception, all anything takes is an idea.” Has he been using these brain washing techniques on his own class? Is he raising an army of brain washed students to rise up against us? We will keep our readers up to date with more mind-boggling evidence to convict Mr. Kable of whatever he’s hiding.

Sure, push mobile phone policies, but how about we tackle the ever-growing challenge of other playground misdemeanors?!!!

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Jonty Donald

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